Token White Guy's Blog

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Yes, a warrant for your arrest may result in you being (gasp!) arrested

Summons

An Associated Press article yesterday talks about how NYC police bosses are wanting to find some way to clear their backlog of 1.2 million warrants, possibly with an amnesty program. In the article, the AP used the example of Sheila Beasley, who was ticketed for having an unleashed dog in December 2008. Beasley forgot about the ticket, and, subsequently, missed her court date. This triggered a warrant to be issued for her arrest, which happened three years later at her home and resulted in her staying in jail for four days.

This is what Beasley said about her arrest:

“I feel like they abducted me from my house,” Beasley said this week. “I would never even make up in my wildest dreams and think I would have to go through a system like that for something so insignificant as doggy poop.”

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Elian Gonzalez, 15 years later

Elian Gonzalez when he was six

Iconic Elian Gonzalez image from when he was six

Do you remember the above image? It is the image that was seared into our minds for months after federal officials forcefully removed six-year-old Elian Gonzalez from the home of his Miami relatives on April 22, 2000. He was returned, rightfully so, to his father in Cuba on June 28, 2000.

It’s been 15 years since the raid and return to Cuba, and ABC News recently went to Cuba to interview a now 21-year-old Elian.

More of the Elian Gonzalez interview will air later today (May 18, 2015) on World News Tonight with David Muir.

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Teacher breaks up classroom fight with his belt

Fight Image

The video below, which appears to have been first posted by LiveLeak on May 16, shows a teacher breaking up a student fight that had broken out in his classroom. Sadly, in this day and age, that is not unusual. What is unusual, however, is how the teacher broke the fight up.

He used his belt.

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Another week, another SNAP challenge done wrong

Food Stamps

The latest fad in America, it seems, is for a celebrity, politician, or journalist to perform the SNAP (aka Food Stamp) challenge. This challenge is conducted by said celebrity, politician, or journalist attempting to eat on between $20 – $30 a week in groceries. The celebrity, politician, or journalist will then either complain about having to eat the same thing day after day after day, or will give up halfway through by declaring it impossible for them to do. Once completed, or uncompleted as the case may be, the celebrity, politician, or journalist will then proclaim that the government needs to give food stamp families more money to eat on.

Last month, it was Iron Man star Gwyneth Paltrow attempting, and failing, the SNAP challenge. A quick look at what Gwyneth bought at the store with her $29 will explain why she failed. This month, ABC News’ food writer Stefanie Tuder reported on her SNAP challenge experience. While she did manage to make it through the week, she complained about having to eat the same thing every single day. A quick look at how she conducted the challenge and what she bought explains how she only has herself to blame.

When conducting the SNAP challenge, most celebrities, politicians, and journalists make the same three glaring mistakes that Gwyneth and Stefanie did. Once they complete, or fail to complete, the challenge, they pass on their experience to others while failing to acknowledge and/or understand these mistakes. The fans and followers of these people then repeat these flawed results to others, which usually results in them demanding the government give more money to families on food stamps so that future celebrities, politicians, and journalists who take up the SNAP challenge won’t starve.

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‘American Idol’ to end in 2016

Season 5 "American Idol" winner Taylor Hicks

Season 5 “American Idol” winner Taylor Hicks

Rumors of American Idol‘s demise have circulated for years, ever since Season 6 when it began it’s long, not-so-slow descent from blockbuster ratings to below-average ratings. Although the show repeatedly tried to stem the ratings declines, they never could figure out how to turn things around. Which leads us to today and the following announcement: ‘American Idol’ canceled after 15th season.

The end of American Idol is bittersweet for me. As some of you know, I got my start here at the All Digital Radio Network because of American Idol. Shortly after Season 6 started, Sir Darryl (the owner of the network) contacted me via the Taylor Hicks’ fan site I was a part of (SOUL PATROL!) and asked me if I would like to come on the Idol Radio Show one week to talk about that season’s contestants. Somehow, Darryl and I clicked during that show, which resulted in me coming back many times during the season. By the next season, I was co-hosting the show. One season later, I was the host.

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White Appreciation Day will be June 11, 2015

Rubbin Buttz BBQ sign

Rubbin Buttz BBQ sign

What do you think are the odds that this White Appreciation Day discount will actually happen as planned?

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Lottery ticket deliberately offends, couldn’t possibly be random coincidence

Wheel of Fortnue lottery ticket

Wheel of Fortune lottery ticket

So you scratch off a Wheel of Fortune lottery ticket that happens to have three words on it: You. Elmira. Trash. How do you react?

1) Laugh at the unfortunate order of the words, marvel at the coincidence that you actually live in Elmira, and realize that it’s not a vast conspiracy by the New York State Lottery?

or

2) Get mad about how such a ticket removed all the fun from playing the lottery, get offended at how it was intentionally done to insult you and your city, and find someone else who will join your conspiracy theory.

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This is NOT your dad’s Hamburglar

Hamburglar

The new McDonald’s Hamburglar

As you may have heard, McDonald’s is trying to reinvent their image in the hopes of regaining the market share they’ve lost the last few years to other fresher, hipper chains. As part of that reinvention, McDonald’s is bringing back the Hamburglar after a 13-year absence. But be forewarned, this is not the lovable red-headed Hamburglar many of us remember from our youth.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go curl up in a fetal position and cry that another icon from my youth is gone.

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Parents Of The Year, part 1

Joey and Chad Mudd

Joey and Chad Mudd

Do you know why all of you parents out there can’t get your kids to do what you ask? It’s because you haven’t been using the right motivational tool.

Why not follow the example Joey and Chad Mudd? When their daughters went to school, got good grades, and did their chores, they got to smoke dope and snort drugs with their mom and pop.

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